So I am clearly not posting every day. I’ve really been rocked down to the core recently, and while there is lots and lots to talk about — it’s exhausting. I so admire folks who get online and spew it out (most times quite eloquently as well), but I’ve learned that that’s not my deal really. Interesting, because in the past I couldn’t keep my mouth shut (both in person and over the ether) — but I guess I have never been talking about the right things, the important things.

I miss everybody! Doesn’t mean I won’t be back, but for instance, today, I didn’t move out of bed until 12:30pm and then it was only to take a shower and head to an arm chair. You can imagine the support it takes, from my husband mostly, to make this kind of wallowing possible with two children. It then feels profoundly selfish to say “I’m going to go spend a large amount of time on the computer.” Sigh. All are napping now, and I am waving…”He-ey.”

Come Thanksgiving, I will have lots to send upstairs in prayer. I am a lucky lady to recognize that, even when it makes me cry to think about trying to find the box with the Scotch tape in it.

I’ll post some pics soon — the kids are out-cute-ing each other every day.

Fergie, Big Girls Don’t Cry

An old man is telling his grandson about a fight that is going on inside himself. He says it is between two wolves.

One is evil: Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is good: Joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.

The grandson thinks about it for a minute and then asks his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”

The old man simply replies, “The one I feed.”

Duran Duran, Hungry Like The Wolf

It helps to hit “publish” after you write a post. I am cheating and dating this yesterday because I wrote it yesterday !! and just left it sitting. Pthth.

During my hiatus (aha! That’s what I’ll call it), Solomother tagged me for a meme — 10 Things That Happened To Me. Great timing, as nobody really knows what I have been doing since we pitted those infernal cherries in July.

1. I moved. Our new house is divine. Not without problems (the first time I ran the dishwasher it flooded the kitchen, for instance), but I sleep soundly here (where are the sirens?) and I love to pad around in my barefeet on the carpet and lay around with the kids in their pink-and-chocolate colored room. The courtyard out front is a gathering place for all the kids (lots!) and they have welcomed Ruby and are enamored with Shepherd. The house is still in a state of utter chaos, but it’s starting to feel like home.

2. I tanked. Following my quarterly bloodwork to check all my vitamin levels, I got a concerned series of calls from my GP doc asking me to please call please call please call. When I got back to him he told me to go to the hospital (do not pass go, do not collect $200) immediately for a blood transfusion. Uhm, euw! I had never heard of such a thing. Turns out, my iron was so low that the doctor couldn’t believe I was able to get into a pair of pants, much less run after two kids. I just thought I was “newborn tired,” but apparently there was more to it. So, before our family beach trip, I got two units of blood dripped into me in a surprise overnight stay at Washington Hospital Center.

3. I vacationed. My brother and sister-in-law and their son joined us and my Dad for a week in Nags Head, NC. It was the end of the season so there weren’t nearly as many people there, and we had a great time. Since the world is about to end (what’s with this weather?) we had unseasonably warm and wacky temperatures for September. Ruby fed the birds 1,000 pieces of bread, we walked for miles, we slept in, we ate and ate.

4. I celebrated. My parents both turned 70. I turned 39. Shaun turned 36. My brother finished his PhD and became Dr. Amy’s Brother.

5. I restructured. We pulled Shepherd out of daycare and hired a lovely Ethiopian Mom to be his nanny. Alas, as of this writing it is not working out because said lovely gal cannot be on time. We were paying twice the cost for something less than half as convenient and/or dependable, so we are putting Shepherd back in daycare.

6. I shopped. We came into this house with many fewer possessions than we did into our old one. Either things didn’t “work” here or they were things we had had for so long that we just needed a change. We are starting from scratch on most all of the rooms, and although it’s fun to pick things out, it’s a bear to wait for them. Also, I realized I have absolutely no taste of my own — I have to be shown A, B and C and be allowed to just shout out a letter and order it. Maybe it’s the lack of iron but I just don’t have the energy for it that some people might. I just want a couch! Today! As it stands, we’ll have a couch in about a month.

7. I recovered. Slowly but surely, my pelvic condition that I had when I was pregnant got better. I still have some residual pain after long days of standing and walking, but it’s nothing like it was. In fact, I remember the moment that I knew it was better — I was on the escalator coming up out of the Silver Spring Metro station and I thought “Hey! My pelvis doesn’t hurt!” And it’s been better every day since.

8. I cried. I’ve never been much of a cryer, but Katie Bar The Door! I’ve turned into a complete blubberhead. Post-partum? Maybe. Or maybe I’ve just learned that it’s a lot easier to blubber than it is to…deal. Makes me cry just thinking about crying. Do you have a tissue?

9. I drank. Yeah, you knew we’d get there, huh? And drank. And drank. Turns out I’m just about the same as I was before I quit drinkin’ the first time. Duh.

10. I surrendered. I pray and I white-knuckle and I ask for help and I rail and I fight.

What have you been doing?

Feist, I Feel It All